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LLL Season 24
Regular Season Rules
10 lines
(unless agreed upon by both battlers)
No Bullshit Allowed
MUST CHECK IN BY FRIDAY
VERSES DUE SUNDAY 11:59 PST
24 hour EXT must be granted by opponent
BATTLES CLOSE W.E
@Letterman @Blue Bayou
Ok.
Gluck man...how many you thinkin?
"Sound stuff out guys" - Barcotic
Blue Bayou,
so mean it’s vicious. trigger happy w/ a squeeze it finish
Hands on The Toy-Let...Ringg it’ll leave ya guts exposed like bulimic bitches
your girl’s a cheater bro. i hit it last time the skank was out
only thing that bitch knows about Fidelity is there’s -$60 in your bank account
she’s w/ me now. called you boring with the peen of an asian
when she told you she was ‘doing away with you’ her ass didn’t mean a vacation
go one on one w/ me & i promise you’ll beggin me “end this”
Doula have you on the ground in more pain than some pregnancy stretches
when it comes to my living quarters it’s dope modern nooo 80’s basic..
when it comes to your living quarters is what you bring home on a daily basis
forever a broke loser that’s NEVER seen out w/ bitches..
clout & riches?! for this guy to Bali’s gunna have to book a trip to the South Pacific
throw me a sword. make sure you & every homie is floored
i’m going Hamlet & soon i’ll be holding ya ‘Skull in the Air’...as a trophy of war
Last edited by Blue Bayou; January 20th, 2020 at 03:31 PM
"Sound stuff out guys" - Barcotic
I came 4 violence. Shoot til smoke rise from the body & he aint surviving
Aimed at his ribs.. the bullets had Bayou cooking when the heat hit his Cajun fried it
Lowered ur standards for the comp. Ur writtens aint been the same, b
Had to gaslight bars so much, this fool actually convinced himself that they were crazy
Ur girl’s a disgusting slut. Not the type u wanna bring to mama
At least she makes blue waffles, & he returns the favor by eating her diseased vagina
U fell short of expectations. So this title, you gon have to pry it from me
He’s supposed to be the savior.. so why does this hero look like a busta - Bionic Bunny
U the type to get raped in jail. They’d have ur pants down as fast as u blink
It’s ironic.. every blue moon would happen more often than you’d actually think
& I fucked ur sister. That spoiled brat climaxed b4 I even caved her guts in
I could tell she always had a silver spoon, but I was still proud of how she came from nothing
U came back to a contenders match but didn’t prepare for this part, fool
Soon as you signed indigo against the champ, you should’ve know it would get dark, blue
Last edited by Letterman; January 21st, 2020 at 03:06 AM
Letterman
I get your opening two lines, they were cool. You could have done more with gaslight bar.
The four lines below took away from an otherwise good verse.
Lowered ur standards for the comp. Ur writtens aint been the same, b
Had to gaslight bars so much, this fool actually convinced himself that they were crazy
Ur girl’s a disgusting slut. Not the type u wanna bring to mama
At least she makes blue waffles, & he returns the favor by eating her diseased vagina
You killed it with the last 6 bars. highlight of the battle
U the type to get raped in jail. They’d have ur pants down as fast as u blink
It’s ironic.. every blue moon would happen more often than you’d actually think
& I fucked ur sister. That spoiled brat climaxed b4 I even caved her guts in
I could tell she always had a silver spoon, but I was still proud of how she came from nothing
U came back to a contenders match but didn’t prepare for this part, fool
Soon as you signed indigo against the champ, you should’ve know it would get dark, blue
Strong finish
Blue
The toy-Let bulimic line...I like it but something off. The way it’s written looks good but saying the line aloud it feels like a missed opportunity to land a strong line. The fidelity line was dope and funny. Your next two lines were okay. You came back with the Doula-pregnancy line.
Using when it comes for the first and second line made the word play look weak. It was actually a funny line. The Bali’s line was fresh.
I like the Hamlet reference to end it. The only part I wasn’t feeling from you was the Asian/vacation lines.
Vote- Blue. Letterman bring that same energy you closed with throughout your entire verse.
Good stuff gents.
I'm assuming the verse miracle posted is the final draft?
Blue Bayou’s so mean it’s vicious...trigger happy w/ a squeeze it finish
got my Hands on The Toy-Let & it’ll leave ya guts exposed like bulimic bitches
Starting to see a trend... this league's all about gun bars now huh.
your girl’s a cheater bro. i hit it last time the skank was out
only thing that bitch knows about Fidelity is there’s -$60 in your bank account
Lol nice
she’s w/ me now. called you boring with the peen of an asian
when she told you she was ‘doing away with you’ her ass didn’t mean a vacation
Not as good as the first one but aight
go one on one w/ me & i SWEAR you’ll beggin me “end this”
the Doula have you on the ground in more pain than some pregnancy stretches
Miss a word in the first line? I had to look up doula, good wp. Decent but not a standout
when it comes to my living quarters it’s dope modern not 80’s basic..
when it comes to your living quarters is what you bring home on a daily basis
Simple but effective.
Lett forever a broke loser that’s NEVER seen out w/ bitches..
forget clout & riches. for this guy to Bali’s gunna have to book a trip to the South Pacific
This the first punch that didn't really flow well. Putting 'forget clout & riches' in the first line, and rewording a bit would've made this smoother. Other than that it's aight.
throw me a sword. make sure you & every homie is floored
i’m going Hamlet & soon i’ll be holding ya ‘Skull in the Air’...as a trophy of war
I'm not hip to Hamlet, I'll assume Skull in the Air has something to do with it. Didn't really resonate wit me
Overall a pretty consistent verse. Not a single line was trash, but none really stood out besides the fidelity one. For the most part, the wording is damn good. It's going to take an equally consistent verse and maybe LOTB to top. 8.5/10
VS
I came 4 violence. Shoot til smoke rise from the body & he aint surviving
Aimed at his ribs.. the bullets had Bayou cooking when the heat hit his Cajun fried it
Whaddya know, another gun bar. That second line is definitely stretched. '...rib Cajun fried it...' could've trimmed this down.
Lowered ur standards for the comp. Ur writtens aint been the same, b
Had to gaslight bars so much, this fool actually convinced himself that they were crazy
Ok I see what you were going for, I like the creativity
Ur girl’s a disgusting slut. Not the type u wanna bring to mama
At least she makes blue waffles, & he returns the favor by eating her diseased vagina
Above avg filler
U fell short of expectations. So this title, you gon have to pry it from me
He’s supposed to be the savior.. so why does this hero look like a busta - Bionic Bunny
Too statementish and I didnt know wtf that is.
U the type to get raped in jail. They’d have ur pants down as fast as u blink
It’s ironic.. every blue moon would happen more often than you’d actually think
Setup line was cool, and so is the idea, but the punch needed to be reworked. The whole second half is filler basically, forced in there just to rhyme.
& I fucked ur sister. That spoiled brat climaxed b4 I even caved her guts in
I could tell she always had a silver spoon, but I was still proud of how she came from nothing
Another example of too many words in an otherwise good punch.
U came back to a contenders match but didn’t prepare for this part, fool
Soon as you signed indigo against the champ, you should’ve know it would get dark, blue
Nice, good close
Man the indigo line was cool, gaslight was cool. I'm already tired of gun bars regardless of how dope. Most of your "misses" were because of the wording of your punches. The blue moon bar is probably the perfect example. Definitely not as bad as some verses I've seen in here, you just need to tighten up the wording. 6.5/10
Vote: Blue
*Insert Sig Here*
so mean it’s vicious. trigger happy w/ a squeeze it finish
Hands on The Toy-Let...Ringg it’ll leave ya guts exposed like bulimic bitches
diggin it
your girl’s a cheater bro. i hit it last time the skank was out
only thing that bitch knows about Fidelity is there’s -$60 in your bank account
this is cool
she’s w/ me now. called you boring with the peen of an asian
when she told you she was ‘doing away with you’ her ass didn’t mean a vacation
not a fan
go one on one w/ me & i promise you’ll beggin me “end this”
Doula have you on the ground in more pain than some pregnancy stretches
you know a bar is well written when i didn't even have to look up the definition of doula. this is dope imo
when it comes to my living quarters it’s dope modern nooo 80’s basic..
when it comes to your living quarters is what you bring home on a daily basis
lol this is cool
forever a broke loser that’s NEVER seen out w/ bitches..
clout & riches?! for this guy to Bali’s gunna have to book a trip to the South Pacific
decent
throw me a sword. make sure you & every homie is floored
i’m going Hamlet & soon i’ll be holding ya ‘Skull in the Air’...as a trophy of war
dope
slick verse. only one miss and a couple dope bars mixed with some other good hits
vs
I came 4 violence. Shoot til smoke rise from the body & he aint surviving
Aimed at his ribs.. the bullets had Bayou cooking when the heat hit his Cajun fried it
diggin it
Lowered ur standards for the comp. Ur writtens aint been the same, b
Had to gaslight bars so much, this fool actually convinced himself that they were crazy
cool
Ur girl’s a disgusting slut. Not the type u wanna bring to mama
At least she makes blue waffles, & he returns the favor by eating her diseased vagina
not a fan, didn't rhyme either.
U fell short of expectations. So this title, you gon have to pry it from me
He’s supposed to be the savior.. so why does this hero look like a busta - Bionic Bunny
not a fan
U the type to get raped in jail. They’d have ur pants down as fast as u blink
It’s ironic.. every blue moon would happen more often than you’d actually think
decent
& I fucked ur sister. That spoiled brat climaxed b4 I even caved her guts in
I could tell she always had a silver spoon, but I was still proud of how she came from nothing
this could be percieved as you saying you have a small dick lol. thought wording hurt you here so it's a miss for me
U came back to a contenders match but didn’t prepare for this part, fool
Soon as you signed indigo against the champ, you should’ve know it would get dark, blue
this is decent
overall cool verse but a few misses for me.
I've got BB taking this
/v/BB
Bank acc was nice..Pregnancy and quarters was cool
South Pacific was alright ...skull in air was smooth
Vs
Cajun connected well..nice bar.... Blue waffle gross af but okay line
Blue moon was alright..not to hard..but alright jab
Indigo was a ok hit too..
.
Overall i think blue took this..he came out swinging and had some quotes.. Letter best bar was ooener then it kind of mellowed out after that VOTE BLUE BAYOU
Letterman's verse started slow but last 3 bars were nice, along with the blue waffle bar
Blue Bayou had the toy-let np which is played but the connections & set up made it passable. liked Fidelity (lotb) living quarters & doula lines.
V/ Blue
Got Blue here. Letterman came good tho
Bank Acct
Doula
Hamlet
Cajun
Gaslight
Blue Moon
Have BB here, as w/ most battles he edges due to wirding & less lower misses imo. Vote - BB
Blue wins .. @Stranger can u give him his 4x lll champ
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