These Walls Pt. II

[internets]

Bloodshot, sleepwalk just to listen to dreams,
this is beautiful. The walls are sycamore green,
put my lips to the leaves. Convulsing for joy,
another lonely drink. I can feel my pulse when I breathe.
Naked on the carpet, I put my fingers to the felt
and smile. Lighter, afloat, 'I'm limber. I'm free.'
The cigarette reacts, to a light, it stings and it welts,
with the floor as its ashtray.
The lamp dances. I'm smiling, absorbing it's sashay,
I'm happy. Forgetting the torrent of past days.
Ignorant. Where's my lighter? I'm forgetting things.
Another shot. Romance me, iTunes. Yes, just let it sing.
Forget me my past. Give me some tonal escape.
I'm at home in the waste, of sonnets, in poems and tapes.
Vinyl, MP3's. Show me the way.

The rusty light is foreign. It shows through the blinds.
It's 11 a.m. Fuck you. You know I don't mind.
You work at eight. Ok. I'll just call in sick.
It's horrible, to work. Can you imagine sleeping in?
Can you? It's beautiful. All of it.

I work in front of a screen. Then I get home, in front of screen.
At work I think of what I'll jerk off to. Something clean.
A slavic woman, perfect tits. Working porn for the cash,
because she has no talent. Then I work towards a stash;
a piece of toilet paper, a sock, the end of a blanket.
This isn't life. I used to love. Now, I send sentences in fragments
over a webspace. Hoping to recapture the humanity I had.
It's horrible. Just horrible.

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION @internets,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to. If you have already posted your links, disregard this notification.

[internets]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...00-These-Walls
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...e-me-the-topic

[Jukon]

Bloodshot, sleepwalk just to listen to dreams,
this is beautiful. The walls are sycamore green,
put my lips to the leaves. Convulsing for joy,
another lonely drink. I can feel my pulse when I breathe.
>>what a great intro, your word choice is great which in turn creates amazing imagery. Both bars were packed to the brim with it. I can already tell your knowledge of literary elements is immense. I know that's a lot to judge from the start but I'm confident with that statement.

Naked on the carpet, I put my fingers to the felt
and smile. Lighter, afloat, 'I'm limber. I'm free.'
The cigarette reacts, to a light, it stings and it welts,
with the floor as its ashtray.
The lamp dances. I'm smiling, absorbing it's sashay,
I'm happy. Forgetting the torrent of past days.
>>Trippy, oh the memories this brings back haha. Great visuals again. Your writing is very familiar, and it's easy to connect with. The flow is solid and makes the read smooth and easy. I like it. I enjoyed how you personified the lamp and the cigarette.

Ignorant. Where's my lighter? I'm forgetting things.
Another shot. Romance me, iTunes. Yes, just let it sing.
Forget me my past. Give me some tonal escape.
I'm at home in the waste, of sonnets, in poems and tapes.
Vinyl, MP3's. Show me the way.
>>I like the idea of this. Can't really go into depth because there's multiple ideas branching in my mind right now and I can't decide which deciphering I like better lol. But it was good.

This isn't life. I used to love. Now, I send sentences in fragments
over a webspace. Hoping to recapture the humanity I had.
It's horrible. Just horrible.
>>Now, I skipped to this because it was my favorite part. I kind of think you fell off towards the end up until you got here. Outro's are important and I think you hit home with this one. It is quite horrible, isn't it? Overall, I really enjoyed the drop. It's refreshing to see someone use literary elements so selfishly. (that's meant as a compliment) lol anyway, welcome to the forums and I hope you stick around and drop some more for us to read.

[internets]

lol want to fucking fight me?