Social Phobia feat. Lenox

[KnowP]

@Lenox

Never found the strength to socialize or keep an open mind,
Too depressed to vocalize so I rock my clothes oversized,
Stressed in the coldest times, it's best to just close my eyes,
Most don't get my life, overdosing on pills, each month is a different knife,
Stole my uncles gun to commit suicide, been in prison twice,
Dealing ice for a living isn't nice,
Wish I could go in reverse in these hesitant days,
Never was attracted to art but my penmanship pays,
Contracted a disease, but I'll admit to my devilish ways,
God help me please before weapons get sprayed,
Never was stuck with wealth, but Drugs fucked up my health,
Now I'm in public troubled stumbling in stealth,
I got a social phobia, maybe someday I'll end up like somebody else



@KnowP

fun with self are opportunities i live for
cause staying in touch much is a job gladly ignored
alone with headphones and music's how Im doin it
facebook and twitter at home, public friendships ruin it
Tried movie nights, house parties, trips to malls
they come with anxiety, dizziness and sweaty palms
my generation lacks in patience, we text, never vocal
some of our livest conversations come from media that's social
why break the mold, and reinvent the trends
Being distant keeps us relevant, no purpose seeing friends
instagram and pic chats, oovoo are the best
no need for confrontation or even getting dressed
daylight is a stretch, u can just crack a window
some strive for social life, but thats not what we're into

[KnowP]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...e-Book-Of-Life
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...my-of-Butchers
^lenox's link

[Jukon]

Never found the strength to socialize or keep an open mind,
Too depressed to vocalize so I rock my clothes oversized,
Stressed in the coldest times, it's best to just close my eyes,
Most don't get my life, overdosing on pills, each month is a different knife,
Stole my uncles gun to commit suicide, been in prison twice,
Dealing ice for a living isn't nice,
cool little start, my favorite part was the 'each month is a different knife'
I would've used the word 'vice' but knife works the same imo. imagery in the first few lines
is pretty good, but it kind of dissipates at the ending.

Wish I could go in reverse in these hesitant days,
Never was attracted to art but my penmanship pays,
Contracted a disease, but I'll admit to my devilish ways,
God help me please before weapons get sprayed,
I really like the 2nd line. first line wasn't necessarily a set up for it
but as a whole 4 lines they work really well together. hesitant days/ penmanship pays/ devilish ways/ weapons get sprayed.
I like the multis here I just wish you had more internals like you did in the first
set I talked about- aside from disease/ me please.

Never was stuck with wealth, but Drugs fucked up my health,
Now I'm in public troubled stumbling in stealth,
I got a social phobia, maybe someday I'll end up like somebody else
I like the realization here. like you wont be happy until you can turn into
a different person. cool concept and good execution aside from the tiny bits I pointed out. I enjoyed it.

fun with self are opportunities i live for
cause staying in touch much is a job gladly ignored
alone with headphones and music's how Im doin it
facebook and twitter at home, public friendships ruin it
good start, the first 2 lines, for me, are kind of jumbled. I think
taking out much and gladly it would flow better. but I like the 2nd couplet more
its easier for people to be themselves when no ones watching and that's what
you're alluding to so I hope I'm not entirely wrong about it.

Tried movie nights, house parties, trips to malls
they come with anxiety, dizziness and sweaty palms
my generation lacks in patience, we text, never vocal
some of our livest conversations come from media that's social
it's kind of strange to me that people actually suffer from this,
I know it's a real thing, it's just not something I deal with. however, you covered
the current problem well. it is an issue and it's stunting social skills in most young
people. the internet is fun cause it comes with almost no consequences (unless it goes viral)
so I think that's why it's earned the spot in our daily lives. I can picture a kid trying
to make new friends but cant because all of their social skills are fucked. and theyre
just trying to figure out why theyre like this.

why break the mold, and reinvent the trends
Being distant keeps us relevant, no purpose seeing friends
instagram and pic chats, oovoo are the best
no need for confrontation or even getting dressed
daylight is a stretch, u can just crack a window
some strive for social life, but thats not what we're into
nice ending here. good transition into finalizing what you're talkin' about.
the first 2 lines flowed really nice together and from then on it was pretty solid.

overall this was a cool little collab, styles were different but that played well.
we got to see two different sides of the concept. surprisingly I haven't read
something like this before so it was refreshing to see which is what made me
want to read it in the first place. the only grievance I have is that I wish there could've
been more internals and multis but that's just me being needy lol. I liked it, it was fun to read
and really hit an issue on the head. good job guys hopefully we can all get in a collab sometime.

[KnowP]

word thanks fam. preciate the feed.

uppin

[Emily]

This is good.
I'll hit it up soon.

[Emily]

Lenox, you're a great writer, and not just for your age. You are a really good writer.
I liked that you went full on with the descriptive aspects, while still being cool with the rhyme.

"Stole my uncles gun to commit suicide, been in prison twice,
Dealing ice for a living isn't nice..." --- maybe this is the bar that wasn't on par with the rest, imo.
I think the tough stance taken, with the prior sentence, gave me a powerful feel, which nose dived with.....'isn't nice.'
I think those words seemed, too nice lol.

That outro though, seriously, I thought that was great.

"I got a social phobia, maybe someday I'll end up like somebody else"

KnowP

"my generation lacks in patience, we text, never vocal
some of our livest conversations come from media that's social..."

Cor blimey that's great lol
Top bars. The flow is good too.
I like how you talk on behalf of a generation.
You don't make it about yourself, but a social issue. That's not even really considered that odd anymore because we've crossed that line where electronics are concerned.
We sleep with a million people next to us. We wake and can talk to anyone we choose.
We are never alone, so we don't have the need to go out. Social phobia.
The dysfunction is normal and you did well to show that, with nice rhyme and flow,
from a different point of view.


Nice collab guys.
You worked well together, on an interesting topic. You came with two different perspectives, but
they gelled. I liked this collab. I thought it worked.
Even though your writing technique is different, one didn't show up
the other one by going hell for leather with the rhymes, or throw a spanner in the works.

Good balance.

Nice read guys.

[Ntalek.]

Lenox - I thought you started this off strong...I thought your first 2 lines were your strongest throughout your piece...your flow was consistent and i can see that you're getting better at pacing yourself and keeping the content together...i really dug the concept you all tackled here..you hit some key points in your drop as far as fashion and the mentality of todays youth, the use of drugs and ect..all in all nice drop..

KnowP - lol funny but your first few lines made me think of some lonely kid rubbing one out to fat booty IG pics.."seriously"..I thought you had a more powerful drop in terms of the actual "social media" takeover in todays society..you had some pretty solid bars

my generation lacks in patience, we text, never vocal
some of our livest conversations come from media that's social
why break the mold, and reinvent the trends
Being distant keeps us relevant, no purpose seeing friends
instagram and pic chats, oovoo are the best
no need for confrontation or even getting dressed
daylight is a stretch, u can just crack a window
some strive for social life, but thats not what we're into

that entire part basically broke down todays society in a nutshell straight to the point..and i like the daylight/window line dope..all in all this was a solid drop on behalf of you both..nice shit fellas.

[Lenox]

Appreciate all the feed!