FUCKSWAG (feedback needed)

[JLK]

are feedbacks still given on this site?

my first time touching the mic in a real long time. i was really itchin to spit on this beat i made so i decided to record real quick. gonna redo the whole thing anyways, but as usual i like to get feedback along the way. the vocals levels are kinda low i just noticed so i posted teh lyrics.

FUCKSWAG

give them what they all wanna see wanna hear
wannabe's want a pair of these air
jordans they afraid to wear keep em fresh keep em clean
like O.F. they rock supreme but underneath
these skinny jeans they might seem
like every other seed got motivated by the weed
mass of (massive) anorexics no one likes the wait (weight)
the desire for dessert before finishing their plate
on top of that even beggars want some cake
we're all fake like toupee hit the pedal to accelerate
towards forbidden fruit
feel my flow supplying juice they cannot shake
call the devil set a date
just know i never pay for the first
but this verse he can take feeling cursed
when im baked and rebirthed wide awake
hell on earth from the quake of my words that i play
clear the shiRt (shit) from your brain
if you a Tramp you can stay (stray) move the R into place
...understand what im sayin?

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...938/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...995/index.html

[Promoter1989]

The beat isn't really my style but yeah this is strait though. You had a cool delivery, your flow was onpoint. You started off strong imo. Your whole flow up until "these skinny jeans they might seem" was dope. I was digging that. Your vocals are kinda low but you pointed that out. This was a good lil drop though. Return the favor http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...073/index.html

[JLK]

i think i still sound wack and corny as fuck... i've heard every rapper starts off sounding wack, but maybe it's just my voice in general.

[Art.]

not bad man... its not ur voice i think ur voice is kinda cool lol... its just u gotta get used to hearing yourself recorded.. when i first started recording i was like damn i really sound like that and thought it was wack but u get used to it and its honestly not wack lol.. sick beat flow was on point i think as well.. keep it up my dude.

[I-M-E]

yes theres still feed given, mainly by ppl who are on often, dunno how much feed u give with only 23 posts but anyway...
i like the guitar in the beat, your vocals are a bit low, flow seems decent, lyrics are actually pretty good, delivery could be a bit more angry i guess lol...kinda no need to put it up with an open verse in it but thats just petty shit and doesnt matter if your gonna redo it you could always cut out the other verse or add a second one yourself...anyway im rambling now but pretty decent drop