"Destiny"

[Emajanashun]

its hard to believe but it just wont leave
gasping to breathe my senses precieved
unavoidable events with annoying intent
as it torments my life before my attempt
at recovery, cuz the presents numbing-me
approach discovery thats above-from-me
unaware of whats arising the feelings hiding
its denying but i know its lying
in the face of destiny it wont get the best-of-me
i confess to thee, im scared of the rest-of-me
im not the only one just waitn for no one
lifes begun so im living whats been-done
on a path unknown, i cant postpone
what i do and don't, or what i own
fate brought me to this place, that i hate
looking to take away all the weight,
that my shoulder bares, my mind shares
deeply stare, and you'll see what isn't there....


..still gotta record this someday

[Chewbaca]

seemed like a really deep subject but it worked i thought

[Emajanashun]

thanks, i appreciate it

[J.J]

I really liked this. I especially liked the rhyme scheme and the flow of this piece. Wasn't too simple and wasn't too complex. It was a good drop, keep it up.

[Emajanashun]

thanks alott

[The Genesis]

had a poetic vibe to it, so lyrically there wasn't anything special, but the structure was on point and it seems like you wrote this from the heart, can't hate on real shit, so keep doin you and stay with it.

[Rule.]

just from dry reading it, it wasnt too bad. i think that it would probably 'sound' better than it 'reads' better, if ya get what im saying.

rhyming was pretty much on point too. i re-read it again to kinda get a feel for where you were going, and the ending is good, cus it kinda makes you pause and think. at least it did for me. last line was nice. prolly wouldnt of hurt to be a little longer, but it was cool at the length you had it as well. good read.

[antology]

Yea this aint a bad peice.... think i read this on another site too.

[Emajanashun]

thanks genisis yeah its pretty real i over analyze future and shit haha


i get ya rule, yeha it was thta long cuz i first wrote it to a beat that i didnt like at all so imma use it on a different one hopefully


haha yeahs its on a few sites but most them sites arent very active

[GuiLty SmurF]

Well, this being the second piece I've read from you, I'd have to say it seems you're more of a poet than emcee...maybe.
This was pretty good tho, I try to stay away from poems cuz I hate tryna figure them out.