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Thread: Edicius Ft. Brixton, Nahlidge & Brandon Heat - Casket Closure.

  1. #46
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Brixton

    "Store it in a dark place & keep it"..
    .. my secret, was the only deep shit that recognised a weakness.
    Due to sleepless - nights, & tensions tight..
    .. my guilt was kept in check and defeatless.

    ^^^ i liked the way u started it off dope!, niice multies throughtout the whole shiit! flowed perfect! no doubt...


    Nahlidge

    i hate silent nights, so i`m tryna fight
    my mind, and light the path that i`m tryna ignite
    hear china, think white, but call `em a chink
    fall on the sink, throwin` up, 2 many bottles to drink
    still drinkin`, a bottle a day keeps the problems away
    or is it, a bottle a day to keep the doctor away?
    locked in a cage, slaved, but my spirit runs free
    cried a river, built a bridge, hope the river`ll run clean
    some things, are worth the burden, a select few
    in a money hungry world, that`s waitin` to digest you
    and friends play politics, life`s a game, ur just a part of it
    tryna find love, but you can`t reach the heart of it
    so u swallow it, whole, when ur caught in a hole
    wishin` lucky charms really came with a pot of the gold
    it darkens ur soul, and already a part of it`s sold
    to the highest bidder, unburyin` a garden of cold...hearts

    ^^^dam! thats fuckin dope, had 2 qwote all of it.. niice flow,

    Brandon

    blame murder on rap, it's harder to cope,
    put suicide on rock... we started them both...

    ^^^that bar ill as fuck! ya verse was sick still..

    *wonders what edicius got....*

    Edicius

    The only thing i could taste was this repentance
    hidden from the masses with an ecliptic visual sentence
    and this devastation of ultimate doom was apocalyptic
    it was over a done deal as life as entities transcripted..
    sure i tryed to open my eyes in psychological states,
    broke free of my memorys to figure out my own fate..
    but my being was radically distinctive, noone equal
    tears of blood, my heartbeat stopped without a sequel

    ^^^ my fave lines, dam! u deffo had the vocab in this one...

    fa real this is the best shiit ive EVER read on RB ever since the day i registered.. (back in 2003).. its fuckin DOPE as HELL! overall the collab went great from brix to nahlidge to brandon to edicius.. i enjoyed it all the way through.. now in this case i ent gonna say the structure matters as the fuckin flow was tight! boy i'ma nominate this.. it has to be done... niice collab ya all... i'd lurv 2 read more shiit from ya lot.....1lurv
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  2. #47
    beyond dope.
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    chea


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    - Artificial Intelligence

  3. #48
    I see you lookin.. stupid Brandon Heat's Avatar
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    wha wha... *watches my verse go over millions of heads*
    AlieNation
    ..GrindHouse..


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    we see you Cock-A-Roaches looking...

    Coming Soon

  4. #49
    You've Earned a Custom Title! *Young Philly*'s Avatar
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    im just gunna say 3 words HALL OF FAME
    Open Mics

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    Battles Need Closed

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  5. #50
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Not that you need any more replies on this, but I saw it nominated(Legends) so just thought I'd leave my remarks. Honestly, for a collab piece with this many solid writer's, I come into it with skepticism. I feel some members deem an OM dope prematurely based on who hoped on the collab. I'm not going to qoute lines like everyone else, but I'll just go through each dude briefly.

    Brix - Great way to open this up. You've been consistently rising in your talent and voice as a writer. I love how you've started to learn how to work in what you want to say, portrayed with the perfect diction and well placed rhyme schemes. well done.

    Nah - your flow and rhyme ability is undoubtedly your best feature in this piece. the way it read off the tongue so to speak, was nicely crafted. There were a few decent word twists in there aswell, but I wasn't feeling the doctor bit. seemed stale, and seen it done before.

    Brand - This was the weakest verse IMO. No hate, it just didn't grab me and definitely wasn't on par with Brix and Eddy. I felt yours, overall, was the most simplistic. The ellipsis didn't throw me off, It was just lacking. It might have cut it for an audio verse but for text this wasn't very decent. Sorry man, call me an underground elitist if you want, that's just my take.

    Eddy - I enjoyed your contribution to this. Vocabulary was above the norm, and the way you kept a direct and full tone throughout was nice. There was nothing really to highlight or go against with yours, I felt is was solid on all levels. good stuff.

    This was a good collaberation. However, there are obviously aspects and areas that could be improved. What I didn't like was how everyone had their seperate verse, and you just went through the piece, reading each writer in progression. There was really no inovation in that. No intertwining lines together from seperate writers and the concept on the whole wasn't brought together or complimented the way I would expect a Legends nod to be. Even so, I enjoyed this and I'm glad you all are peaking interests for OM again.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  6. #51
    ReKey
    Guest
    hate silent nights, so i`m tryna fight
    my mind, and light the path that i`m tryna ignite
    hear china, think white, but call `em a chink
    fall on the sink, throwin` up, 2 many bottles to drink
    still drinkin`, a bottle a day keeps the problems away
    or is it, a bottle a day to keep the doctor away?
    locked in a cage, slaved, but my spirit runs free
    cried a river, built a bridge, hope the river`ll run clean
    some things, are worth the burden, a select few
    in a money hungry world, that`s waitin` to digest you
    and friends play politics, life`s a game, ur just a part of it
    tryna find love, but you can`t reach the heart of it
    so u swallow it, whole, when ur caught in a hole
    wishin` lucky charms really came with a pot of the gold
    it darkens ur soul, and already a part of it`s sold
    to the highest bidder, unburyin` a garden of cold...hearts



    I LIKE DAT

  7. #52
    I see you lookin.. stupid Brandon Heat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mindless
    Brand - This was the weakest verse IMO. No hate, it just didn't grab me and definitely wasn't on par with Brix and Eddy. I felt yours, overall, was the most simplistic. The ellipsis didn't throw me off, It was just lacking. It might have cut it for an audio verse but for text this wasn't very decent. Sorry man, call me an underground elitist if you want, that's just my take.



    to each his own...










    Just to reiterate... these are the replies I hate... My verse was the weakest... and no disrespect to anyone else... because the vocab wasn't there... which wasn't necessary... the lines weren't crazy long... sorry brix... The only verse I will say is on par or close to mine... Nah's... not hating just being honest... Rather than take the simplicity and realize the verse is simply about the death of a mainstream artist... music and soul... maybe it went over your head... maybe it didn't... but this is the reason I don't do text... 99% of the readers... AND writers on this board have no style... flow... or original bone in their body... when something isn't the norm they are afraid of it... and say it's weak... I personally don't see what you're talking about...


    Look at it like this...



    Get by = Talib's "most simplistic" song... but... it was his top song ever... where as... his first album was where he had super vocab and super long lines... and it was eh... Sorry for being an artist.
















    and to clearify... Mindless this isn't a shot at you... it's a shot at text in general... and the people on it...
    AlieNation
    ..GrindHouse..


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    we see you Cock-A-Roaches looking...

    Coming Soon

  8. #53
    Superintel
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    very nice this was nasty by both great meta4's you just kept comin at it and stayed on track I'd like to see morwe from you guys

  9. #54
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brandon Heat
    to each his own...










    Just to reiterate... these are the replies I hate... My verse was the weakest... and no disrespect to anyone else... because the vocab wasn't there... which wasn't necessary... the lines weren't crazy long... sorry brix... The only verse I will say is on par or close to mine... Nah's... not hating just being honest... Rather than take the simplicity and realize the verse is simply about the death of a mainstream artist... music and soul... maybe it went over your head... maybe it didn't... but this is the reason I don't do text... 99% of the readers... AND writers on this board have no style... flow... or original bone in their body... when something isn't the norm they are afraid of it... and say it's weak... I personally don't see what you're talking about...


    Look at it like this...



    Get by = Talib's "most simplistic" song... but... it was his top song ever... where as... his first album was where he had super vocab and super long lines... and it was eh... Sorry for being an artist.
















    and to clearify... Mindless this isn't a shot at you... it's a shot at text in general... and the people on it...

    I know what you're saying Av', and I didn't think your verse was weak.
    BUT, its a text piece that is supposed to be read. & the writing it as if
    it were DOES work. & your piece was dope.. my verse didn't have complex
    vocab' at all.. nor were there really long. You take it in breaths, and if you
    follow my piece you'll see that. But no means was any verse here weak.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

  10. #55
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brandon Heat

    Brandon Heat
    just pop guns n'... shuck n' jive for em...
    money'll ride for them... fuck you pay me,
    take care of the kid... n' the lights been off lately...
    life's been all crazy, I know it's wrong but,
    either stop cryin now... or I'll shake you to shut up...
    fuck... I'm tired of shit,
    minimum wage... fucked truck... that I'll drive off a cliff...
    it's a shame how... the shit we're prone to,
    is a bitch now... meaning the shit we go through...

    No offense man, but I think you need to learn how to take some criticism. Just cause i'm not coming in here giving you accolades, you go into a rant about 'text', trying to defend your piece? I agree that vocab isn't exactly neccessary for it to be great. and lol at you thinking it went over so many kid's heads, it was the most obvious story-line out of all of them. I mean look at the lines in your verse, specifically "life's been all crazy... i know it's wrong but...fuck, i'm tired of shit." honestly, do you think that is original? I'm sorry man but that is just not good writing in my opinon. I could hear all of those lines said several times by random people throughout one day. Even in talib's "most simplistic" song you're trying to use to back yourself up, theres higher level work. check it..

    "We commute to computers
    Spirits stay mute while you eagles spread rumors
    We survivalists, turned to consumers"

    "Even when the condition is critical, when the livin is miserable
    Your position is pivotal, I ain't bullshittin you"

    I don't see anything on this calibre in your piece. The only part that was decent was the first 2 lines. again, this is my opinion. but if you're saying things like "sorry for being an artist" then start taking shit seriously and create something different, something someone hasnt done or heard before. this was played out. and if you think you can make it in audio with this type of work, then it just shows how low America's standards for hip-hop have become.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  11. #56
    I see you lookin.. stupid Brandon Heat's Avatar
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    ^it's bigger than you... trust me... and that is your opinion... and that was mine... but if I think I can make it in audio? I don't do audio... I do music... get offline do something... You base what you see on one text verse, which I know you don't get... simply because of your explaination which was completely out of context... good job... but again... to each his own... and I take critism... I just can't take stupidity... But thanks for trying.






    and Brix... I wasn't tryin to point you out... but you just had the longest lines... I liked the verse... and for what you did... it worked... what I am saying is... (insert Syntax thread here about music)... Music on RB has gone downhill... seriously... So have the cats who do text... that's just me... we all are intitled to our opinions... and this was mine...
    AlieNation
    ..GrindHouse..


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    we see you Cock-A-Roaches looking...

    Coming Soon

  12. #57
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Get your head out of your egotistical ass homeboy. You don't do audio though? you do music? ok... you sure you don't do audio?
    Quote Originally Posted by Brandon Heat
    it's text... I don't do text... I do audio...
    I love how people on the net are always telling other people to get off line. I was down-town breaking bread with homeless dudes last night, where were you at?.. typing up your response. Lmao at you still thinking I don't get your verse. Way to act superior to people on the net. Does that make you feel better about yourself? I simply called you out on a lame effort, and shit job in this particular collab. I've seen enough from you to know you can write better than that. And I agree music and text has gone downhill on RB, but you don't need to go with it. So blah at you getting heated and claiming it as stupidity because I didn't like your contribution to this, and backed it with solid reasons why.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

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