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Thread: A collection of my works

  1. #1
    Newbie Tha Soldier's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
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    tha south, USA
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    Exclamation A collection of my works

    Camo Hoody

    i try to stay low in my hood, cuz shit aint no good//
    even tho im makin mo money dan a grown man could//
    but dat dont matter, niggas wuld pop me just for an eight//
    its a terrible feelin but i gotta keep on movin weight//
    so, i keep my camo hoody by my side, bein without is forbidden//
    cuz wen i got it on, from tha whole world i feel hidden//
    this one piece of clothing, helps me do wut i do//
    thanks for camo, i couldnt do it without you//
    i keep movindat perp, the shit i can only call work//
    lifestyle is bizzerk, so in my hoody i lurk//
    on thru da hood, sellin all dat shit for tha paper//
    but i wont stop rappin till i move up, like water vapor//
    my feets is tired ive been walkin for 10 miles//
    just to get $20 but on my momma face there is a smile//
    u kno wut, dat shit just makes it all worth tha while//
    of tha style that im livin, wit tha scraps i was givin//
    but imma keep prayin to tha lord to be forgivin//
    please forgive me lord, cuz i kno that im doin it wrong//
    but im tryna explain to you, why i do wit this song//
    one day... help will come and my family will be able to breath~easy//
    i done put my life in tha hood, and i kno i wont be able to leave~easy//
    one of these day i swear imma quit movin dat slam~yo//
    but until then i will just have to keep wearin dat.....

    [chorus 2x]
    dat camo, helps me stay protected while im on da grind//
    keeps me focus, my mind on my money and my money on my mind//
    i got dat camo hoody, da shit makes me feel protected//
    ill move out dis place one day, when my skills is respected//

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    True 2 Da Game

    most niggas when they blow, get big~heads//
    thinkin they tha shit, now that they get big~bread//
    i promise you, ill always stay down to earth//
    cuz im real, been destined to rhyme~since~birth//
    im not in this for that money, im in it represent//
    tha gutta niggas thats lackin that supplement//
    the shit, that gives yo verse that ill edge//
    you wanna kno more, like i got u a on a ledge//
    ive sed it before, dont get big-headed an forget yo roots//
    stay down to earth, even if you are the ripest of tha fruits//
    keep yo hood in yo heart, nigga dats my motto//
    i wuld still rep my hood, if i won tha lotto//
    i put my heart in da hood, i gave~it~all//
    but did it get any love bak, not~at~all//
    its no big deal tho, not like i lost~it~all//
    its just a place to live right, WRONG//
    thats where you grew up, where you called HOME//
    it tha place where you got yo first DOME//haha
    but back to my point, keep reppin yo block till you die//
    just stay humble, and trust me yo lyrics will be fly//
    keep hood on yo mind, thats where you started yo grind//
    imma stay reppin kentucky, even after i get signed//

    [chorus 2x]
    dont just stay true to da game, stay true to yoself//
    if you dont youll just be another cocky rapper on tha shlef//
    rep yo hood to tha fullest, theres no problem in dat//
    dont forget what youre here for, yo soldiers in combat//

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ima Problem

    i spit my lyrics in yo face, like you was a peasent//
    i could be tha next big thang, but we only in tha present//
    when it comes for my time to shine, i can be a menace//
    my shit gotta steady beat,like tha sounds of tennis//
    ping-pong, ping-pong, bullets rikochet of my dome//
    like im tha terminator, my skulls made of chrome//
    its hiding my innermost thoughts and lyrics//
    and my mouth is tha trap door to unleash demons or spirits//
    i come through yo hood, you all gawk at my presence//
    its almost like a lyrical angel flew down from tha heavens//
    im not tryna be cocky, just explainin my skills//
    my blood is so cold, im surprised i dont get tha chills//
    im 15 years old and already payin them bills//
    what makes you think im guna leave yall witout sum thrills//
    i kno you dont want me in yo hood, ill take yo fame//
    destroy to frame, spittin game, im tha one to blame//
    for fuckin yo dame, while tha bitch was screamin my name//
    SODLIER! SOLDIER! she sounded like a drill sarge//
    she wanted to pay for tha sex, but i sed no charge//
    no this should be an example, of how im hard to handle//
    leave yo brains on tha mantle, this is only a sample//
    whoa//

    [chorus 2x]
    im comin up in tha game, nigga be on tha lookout//
    ima grill mo of you pussy niggas, than a cookout//
    when i walk down tha street, im considered as a problem//
    theres a lot of mysteries in hip-hop, im bout to solve~em//


    [talkin]

    CHEA!! you heard me... im not joke now... im in ids for tha longrun. be on tha lookout for tha new album... comin soon... IMA PROBLEM...

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What it Takes

    [talkin at begginin]
    Yo, im bout to tell, yall.... a lil story bout my life, now dont take dis song wrong.....aint tryna say dont fuk wit me.... just want you to kno..... listen.

    it aint all about rappin and flowin to dis beat//
    only 15 years old sellin drugs out on tha streets//
    aint proud of tha way, that i am livin//
    but man im only dealin wit tha scraps i was givin//
    dealin drugs, hustlin niggas, even sellin pills//
    anything it takes to help momz pay tha bills//
    i hate the way i live, but nigga it is wut it is//
    gotta help pay rent, nigga im only a kid!//
    i wish i could get away, but Dammit-g//
    i could NEVER walk out on my family//
    yea, money comes in real nice, dont gotta say it twice//
    gotta pay bills, rents, and allowance but its all worth tha price...//
    of seein my family happy, in some sorta way//
    wishin there was another way, so i look to tha Lord and pray//
    for a better day, a different way to stay....//
    happy, cuz i dont wanna go back to bein locked-up//
    gotta watch my back tha block is always copped~up//
    ive been shot at plenty of times, but only hit three//
    i want to be free, cuz death is not my destiny//
    dont get me wrong, im not tryna say im gangsta//
    just tryna tell my story and for listenin i thank~ya//
    sittin here, writin this, while im layin in bed//
    the one time of day that i get to clear my head//
    an think, i know i could try to go out and get a job//
    but it aint that easy, when employers look at you like a slob//
    i guess its time to wrap this up, and move another puond//
    maybe i could get a deal, when my lyrics is found// (its all a dream)

    [closing]
    i guess this is what it takes, to get by i suppose//
    gotta do wut it takes, gotta take these blows//
    i guess this is what it takes, to get by in life//
    gotta do wut it takes, watever it takes to survive//

    i guess this is what it takes, to get by i suppose//
    gotta do wut it takes, gotta take these blows//
    i guess this is what it takes, to get by in life//
    gotta do wut it takes, watever it takes to survive//

    [talking]
    i mean, i kno people got it worse, but.... i kno shit aint gunna come easy u heard me? now a lotta people is tellin me to keep my head up, and thats hard when tha whole world just weighs you down.... to all yall out there in tha struggle, just stay strong, pray for a better day, help will come, GOD GIVE MERCY...

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Street Dreams

    [talkin]
    now i kno everyone of yall gotta dream... this song.... should help you.... follow that dream.... take it to tha top....here we go

    i come from a place where dreams dont come true often//
    but if they do, niggas forget where they come from and soften//
    i just wish, that one day my lyrics could be found//
    cuz i want everyone to hear... the way i sound//
    im glad that i have a dream, its hard to even have one//
    they are either too hard, or bein left undone//
    i kno u gotta dream, follow it, and take it to tha top//
    kepp it on yo mind, and never let it drop//
    if you think yo dreams are stupid, then your dream aint real//
    cuz you should always believe in yoself, even if yo dreams unreal//
    look at me, i should be a role model, im unsigned hype//
    got people showin respect, and all i do is put thoughts into type//
    i know i got dreamz, and everyone else should to//
    cuz they give you a goal to pursue//
    if yo dream is to have a dream, then keep on dreamin//
    get to thinkin bout it, its like releasin one of yo demons//
    it gets pain off yo chest, lets you take off tha vest//
    lets me be my best and be lyrically blessed//
    i hope, that i can get a deal, but i have not been heard~yet//
    i love writin these rhymes, call me a word~vet//
    a dream is a pesky thing, you only get out wut u put in//
    there is a good in everyone, but it dwells within//
    you gotta reach inside yoself, to pull yo dreams~out//
    i gotta have my voice heard, so i scream~out//
    my spit is food for tha brain, you can call it lyrical cuisine//
    maybe my talent will be found when my lyrics are seen//
    its all a dream//

    [chorus 2x]
    street dreams on my mind, keep me up at night//
    my dream is to be heard, but for now i can only write//
    i just wish people, would hold on to their dreams//
    never let go, no matter how impossible it seems//


    [end talkin]
    now i just hope that one day... my dream can come true.... cuz where i come from that dont happen everyday... its a once in a life time experience..... you just gotta keep yo dream in yo sights and never lose it.... never let go...

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dat Sound

    [police sirens]

    When you hear dat sound, you know its time to flee//
    No time to think, if you wanna stay outta jail and be free//
    Whoap whoap, it only takes 2 sounds to get you all stirred-up//
    Its all my luck, getting caught movin my third-spuk//
    Dat sound got you trippin, nuthin you can do but run//
    Cuz to feds a drug-dealer aint nuthin but a shmut~son//
    Its tha sounds of sirens got you runnin faster than you ever have//
    You can say you not scared, but you know yo heart beatin real fast//
    I don’t understand the comments that niggas make bout not bein scared//
    They must not be informed, cuz they sure as hell aint prepared//
    For whats to come, and whats bout to happen if they don’t dash//
    If they are idiotic, they will just keep countin they cash//
    But wuts funny is soon, they gon have a pain in they ass//
    I think im makin it clear, like crystals or glass//
    Don’t worry bout tha dough, fuk sellin that grass//
    Or that smash, otherwise known as that crack//
    Or tha yack, it all gets you years in tha “jack”//
    Its no problem, getting money, its getting caught doin~it//
    Cops can get grimey and they will start gluin~shit//
    Sayin you had a gun, when really you did not//
    Trust me man, getting caught by them is worse than getting~shot//
    Ive done em both, neither is fun, but tha pigs will embarrass you//
    Cuz they can ‘inherit’ yo money, sum like an heiress~do//
    But dat sound got you trippin over yo shoelaces, tryna get~away//
    Theres no doubt, when you see them lights, you need to split~today//
    But I will keep avoidin them lights and sounds//
    And keep movin shit till my lyrics have been found//

    [Chorus 2x]
    Dem lights, dat sound, its too familiar but why//
    Cops fuck up our lives, and suk our souls dry//
    Dat sound got you buggin, trippin, which way should you go?//
    Betta hurry tha fuck up, your caught, you moved too slow//

    [talking]
    You have all heard dat sound at some point in your life…. Its tha worse sound you will ever hear… it means distress,panic,craziness… you hear it everday but never know the significance except for when you know its for you…. RUN!

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    if you do read any of these please leave me sum feedback, its greatly appreciated

    ~1~

  2. #2
    Newbie Tha Soldier's Avatar
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    plz

    just leave me some feedback please

  3. #3
    Original Outlaw Domain 9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Battle Record
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    I read the camo hoody piece and it was very simplistic. You gave some okay imagery but you're gonna have to come up with something more original. Everyone can do the thug stuff but it takes a real lyricists to flip a topic to something no one would expect and make it hot. The flow was okay and the vocabulary... well there was none but that's nothing to worry about. You have some real potential, I see that you know how to write you just need to open up your imagination basically and explore new topics... the thug shit is for newbies that can't write about complex topics... Now I will read 1 more and leave feedback on it too...

    Okay I just read "Street Dreams" that was a deeper piece than any of the other ones. I chose to read that one b/c it was the only one that wasn't "thuggish" as I explained in my other comment about "Camo Hoody"... Although "Street Dreams" seemed to be more of a poem to me it was good. The message in it was strong but at times your flow fell off.. The chorus was hot, I liked the first two lines. If I was to give you a score for this it'd be around a 6... It was about average with a few hot lines in it so that boosted you above the average of 5... Keep it up man, hope you persue that dream...

    pz
    Artificial Intelligence
    *~P.U.R.E.~*
    Can't Fuck With Old School



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