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Thread: Chelsea?!

  1. #1
    Mast3rM!nd
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    Unhappy Chelsea?!

    baby why ya gotta leave me all alone like this/
    I fuck up but you can still be quite tha bitch/
    whut tha fuck is this/
    after all tha time an money I spent on shit/
    you just leave me full of nothingness/
    you cheated on me with justin/
    whut a digusting bitch/
    i thought we had sumthin/
    well i guess not/
    remember when there was a storm and I walked 7 miles just ta make sure you were ok/
    you called at 10 an I got there at 12 o clock/
    tha next day/
    you treat me like shit then dump me/
    did you get everything you wanted from me/
    remember that braclet i gave you as a special gift/
    last time I saw,it was on justins wrist/
    but I guess you were right/
    I don't want to fight/
    i'll just apolagize despite tha way i feel inside/
    close my mouth and swollow my pride/
    even though your mean,I'll still hug you/
    after all tha shit you put me through,I'll still love you/
    well,I guess thats all I have ta say/
    Oh wait One more thing/
    FUCK YOU and HAVE A NICE DAY/

  2. #2
    Mast3rM!nd
    Guest
    Hit this up ya'll

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I wasn't feeling this one so much. Some of the rhyming on it seemed forced...

    "remember when there was a storm and I walked 7 miles just ta make sure you were ok/
    you called at 10 an I got there at 12 o clock/
    tha next day/"

    Like that part right there. I did like the emotion you put into it though. I like how you're handling the situation too. Even with all that stuff she did to you, you still hug her. It takes a lot of control to do something like that.

    What you wrote here wasn't bad. It's just, the way you wrote about it made it hard for me to feel it. I guess, as long as you felt better after writing it, who cares what I think right? Keep postin them up

  4. #4
    Mast3rM!nd
    Guest
    Thanx a lot!

  5. #5
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    this was alrightbut i didnt feel it that much,and shitty idea to quote an ending from a battle verse from 8 mile,other than that,keep elevatin.~1~


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  6. #6
    ~*Lil' Miss Caramel*~ Calisto's Avatar
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    #1 you scare me... but hey what do I know... I don't know about that last line from 8 mile thing because I know a lotta people who said that... well I did when I was 12. I agree with Leg about that forced rhyming thing, it did sound like that. But anyways I thought there was a lotta emotion in that peice. Keep elevatin, peace
    Formerly known as ThundaThighz
    ~*Divine Diction*~
    "...For life is not a paragraph.
    And death I think is no parenthesis"-E.E. Cummings

  7. #7
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    Rigid, akward and slow. The meaning diluted by all that.

    Nonetheless, at times i saw cracks of 'sunshine'. i.e. good writing.

    But i dunno. If it was personal, then fair enough. But nah, it just wasn't written well enough to communicate to the reader quite as well as it could've been.

    ...resp....
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

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