Check in's by TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
16-48 lines,
you must drop the links to 5 battles
that you have voted on in this thread.
Topic...
Deja Vu
Ill-Mental
Addlibb
Check in's by TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
16-48 lines,
you must drop the links to 5 battles
that you have voted on in this thread.
Topic...
Deja Vu
- MadMan -
Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Checkin in
.................................
.................................
.................................
checkin in................................................ ...........................
this shoujld be a good matchup
Repetitive and receptive, Of the past re-accepted.
accept this, my dreams wish disconnected.
I wish i could stop, but i just injected,
reinfected with the urge to keep takin the scurge.
Rid me of this thirst, that i try to kick to the curb.
For 3 years i've been living the blurb,
But now trying to quit, my lifes more of a blur.
Slurring words my career was going no-where.
But then i clutched a lifeline,
believed something was out-there.
Was on the right track, dumped the heroine and crack.
Had learned to live my life without using smack.
But again temptation kick in and it hit back,
attacked what i tried so hard to keep back.
And with no-slack it tightened it's grip.
hooked me back into relying on trip,
I slipped up and no have to once again, give up.
But it's hard when no-one will help you.
cos they feel you will do the same,
as the last time they carried you out of pain.
you'll go back and take their help in vain.
Even though you try to explain,
that you wont touch it ever again.
And now i'm slain to roll in my past news.
so please listen to my thoughts and views.
Take in the fact its hard to not abuse.
I hope this shows you the extremities of a simple deja vu.
good topical....... mine will be up shortly.... gotta key it soon...... good verse tho add...... this should be a good battle
The Dream
last night i had a dream about a beautifal young girl
she wore jewelry made of pearl and her hair in sausage curls
she asked me if i would dance with her, "it would really mean alot"
i stood up an accepted, i figured i might have a shot
we danced a couple songs then she told me she had to go
she had snuck out of her house and didnt want her mom to know
we exchanged numbers, she said she would call me around noon
when i walked her out, we both looked up..... a full moon
Reality
I woke up the next morning, to find that it was all a dream
in my mind i knew it was fake, but it wasnt the way it seemed
i jumped in the shower, tried to remember the girls face
i knew she was beatiful, the the mental picture was erased
it plagued me all day, i wanted to remember so badly
but sadly i couldnt, still it ran through my mind madly
i was thinkin so much, tryin ta remeber the number she left
it was 12:00 and the phone rang, but it was just jeff
he said "tonight were goin to a party, theres gonna be tons of hoes"
i told him ok, jumped in the shower and then put on my pimp clothes
jeff didnt have a car, so i had to swoop him at his house down the street
he jumped in the passenger seat and said "dawg tonight is gonna be sweet..."
The Party
We arrived at the pary, it was about 15 past 9
there was groups of girls everywhere, most of them werent fine
i talked to a couple girls, but they were the dumb blonde types
i wasnt lookin for a relationship, just some pussy for the night
the dream had subsided, i wasnt thinkin about it anymore
i was gettin frustrated with the women, so i walked in the bedroom door
i turned on some music, there was a stereo next to a pad of paper and a red pen
i sat down in a chair, the radio station was paying tribute to boyz 2 men
i closed my eyes and started think, not about anything really at all
the door opened very suddenly, wind from it made the red pen fall
it was a girl but i couldnt see her face, she apologized for bargin in
i said "no, really, its fine", but i wanted to be alone within
she turned the light on, i covered my eyes cause it was bright
i uncovered them and saw her, i said "damn, where have you been all night"
she was wearin pearl jewelry, and her hair was in sausage curls too
i finally saw it was the girl from my dreams, i said "hey i've been thinkin about you"
she gave me a funny look, and said "im sorry i dont think weve ever met"
i said "uh..... i know..... i mean ..... im sorry" and i broke out in a sweat
i asked her what her name was, she said that it was Jen
she had come to the party that night it get away from her boyfriend....
Deja Vu
we sat and talked for a while, we had a really good conversation
she stodd up and asked me to dance, i accepted without hesitation
we danced a couple songs then she finally told me she had to go
i knew this was gonna come eventually, like watching a re-run tv show
she said "its been fun, but my mom is gonna wake soon from her slumber"
i said "wait one second", picked up the pad and paper, she wrote down her number
555-2533 i memorized it right there and then
cause i never wanted to go through another day like that again
i once again walked her out to her car, i didnt want her to go so soon
but when i looked into the sky this time, i was expecting the full moon
i gave her a kiss good bye while she was gettin in her car, it was the only thing to do
as she drove off i thought, i hope i have more dreams like this...... deja vu
DAMN!!! That verse was tight as hell Ill mental.From the beginning to the end,it was quality.you get my vote.
Ill, you rocked this. It was long, but the difference between this and the other long pieces was that it kept me interested. This was a great verse by you Ill. You proved why you were the RBTL Champ, and with verses like that, you will one day reclaim your thrown. You may have to come through me though.
- MadMan -
Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Add-Libb: flow was deepa, wordplay: 6 for inconsistency, rhyme scheme: 7 for more consistency, story: 6 for hard to undastand but a good idea (tragic), total: 19
Ill-Mental: nyce storyline, wordplay: 7 for consistency and flow, rhyme scheme: 6 for simplicity, story: 9 for a well written verse which was self explanatory, total: 22
My vote goes to Ill-Mental, consistency helped him win this battle, stay real, peace, 1
thanks for the votes people....... i need to vote on 1 more matchup........... and then i will edit this with all the links
I'ma be as real as a twenty dolla bill.... Ill was simply ill....
BUT I AINT GETTIN THIS WHOLE FUCKIN BOLD THE IDEA THING
I thought its supposted be a solid vurse...whatever....
but both took advantage of a good subject...
Ill was more sappy, but good structure and rhymes made up for it..
Ad's was also ill as fuck an tha whole druggie thing was great,
Overall you could have played it out more... but still good
Vote Ill
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
^^^^ just dont mind the boldy then, you can read it as a solid verse... dont make no difference.... just thought i'd rock a new style i guess.... lmao
ok i could only vote on 4 cause there were only 4 for me to vote on.... all the other ones were no shows or were already fnished off
voted mad man vs fgee
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...150#post576150
lyricali vs r-rated
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=60056
a2z vs similie
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=60061
younggadget vs t-square
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...537#post576537
Yes...Ill Won This Shit...Great Verse...I Was Feelin Addlibb's Aswell But Damn, Ill Just Killed It Wit A Truly Great Topical...Nice Shit Man...Consistancy Was There Which Helped You Win It In The End...
Vote - Ill-Mental
Phrase One.
<CENTER>W.O.N.K.A
So Good...The Oompa Loompa's Want It Back</center>
ok.... uppin for some votes... this is almost over.... or could be just begining for add... but either wa lets get the votes to finish it off