Just Spitten

[KuntrE]

Simplistic or is it exquisite
The Mystic Artistic Hick
Who will verbally rip-it
Impact of a ballistic
Mind set sadistic
See a pussy and fist-it
So Quick you might miss-it
The karate kid with scissor-kicks
Smashin critics, boa constrict-it
Try to mimic the infinite warrior spirit
Can not mirror-it better fear-it
intent is deliberate scene is morbid
the poor kid getting tortured is more sick
then foreskin in your four course din.
swords sink-in when 44 mags
lack on ammunition
hes back on a mission to mix-in
victorious visions with voiceless writtens.
still there's moistness spitten
the black Royce is miss-in
but the boy-is still insistin
that your miss-is smitten with-in.
the kids sick at the medical store
he's been given genital sores, to whores
While they're on their celibate tour.
you sell a lot and i sell-a-bit more
in shape my core is hell-a-fit
you'll get beat with finesse
and fitness cause i got Hercules chest
behind the fluRRy of fists
that will buRRy the rest.

[KuntrE]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...772/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...700/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...663/index.html

[chiboymax]

Didn\'t stood out, didn\'t have any story line.. Multis werent really good..
And you should make some longer lines.

3/10

[DJ Stricken]

wasn't bad, but it seemed as if you were rhyming just for the sake of rhyming.

[emcee danger]

i actually liked it, except near the end you kind of stepped away from what i thought you were doing. overall is was pretty good. and it did seem like you were just rhyming to rhyme.. which is what i expected when i opened the thread ("just spitten").

[KuntrE]

Yea I was just rhymin really. No real topic or nothing. Just trying to work on multies, and wordplay a bit.

[emcee danger]

going over it again, i really do like everything except the whole genital sores part.. i mean it's funny, but the rest just flows, but that doesn't.. but nice wordplay and everything. have you checked out my last post? i edited it.. think you might like it bro.

[KuntrE]

thanks for the comments.

[[k]onquerer]

real talk kid. this was too simple for me, didn't show any emotion. and it just felt like you put words together just to post a rhyme. your wordplay..it was there it just wasn't strong. and i just wasn't feeling this. i read it a few times to try and understand it more, but i think you need to be way deeper, and emotional. spit about something that means alot to you, get raw. and if you can't dig deep inside for emotion then i don't really see much hope for you. it was a decent first drop I guess. i would just really really work on multis, and wordplay. and definitely make your lines longer, when its short like that it just always has a weird flow. i get that this is called "just spitten" so obviously there wasnt a topic but it always helps to have a topic to write about and titles often catch peoples attention. but over all 3/10 keep up.

[Galactus The Devourer]

Um, this would be much better in audio way too simplistic for text. pz