His Last Poem.

[Soule]

There he sits alone,
collecting webs of dust.
The writer of stone,
and his scriptures of lust.

It's been far too long,
since he's written a thing.
What ever went wrong,
with Frodo and his ring?

People stopped reading,
and his heart just quit.
Soon, it'd stop that beat,
and his pages would rip.

Shelves of books faded,
his tears dried to ash.
Everything that he hated
-are things of the past.

On the last day of life,
before the earth fell.
One girl wiped his eye,
and gave him a new story to tell

It's about this one child,
and when she saved our lives.
She tapped God on the shoulder,
and he continued with his lines.

Evolution was his last poem.

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ie-379262.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-377454.html

[Vince]

I liked this piece for a few different reasons....first of all i liked the tone of this piece and the topic....he structure was good and the storyline interesting....I seen in places it could've had better vocab....but the good rhyme scheme made up for that....i tip my hat off to you.

[Soule]

Thanks, this is the style that got me two hall of fames lol.

[Cracker.]

Not feeling this,what the hell does Frodo have to do with anything?
Felt short,and like all you were aiming for was flow.

idk,not my cup of tea..not too bad Though.

[Truth Iscariot]

aside from the second stanza this was great. As you know i'm not a big fan of rhyming poetry but you brought the story together nicely with your style of writing so naturally i liked it. I enjoyed how your character reacts when it seems he isn't needed any longer, really all too often humans dispair over being needed and having a purpose in life. I also like how you showed love ultimately can turn the worse situations into a stage of blissful recooperating and sudden "rebirth" good shit here Dagel.

[Soule]

Dom, you know nothing of poetry so I'll have any post of yours deleted.

[Truth Iscariot]

Return the favor, guy?

[Soule]

I got you man.

[Truth Iscariot]

Thanks

[Cracker.]

Dom, you know nothing of poetry so I'll have any post of yours deleted.

I know how to read.

[Heychoo.]

seriously.. the rhyming is killing you..

as much of a faggot as you are, ill try to help..

you're making everything too simple.. you're forcing rhymes, and right when you have a decent idea, something cliche just pops out.. it's like i could finish each stanza without reading it.. i understand you're trying to underlie the simplicity with complexity but when you're forcing rhymes, it feels like i'm having someone read the poem to me as if i'm slow..

just be more free with your thoughts, dont let the "style" limit you

[Soule]

Thanks Wireless.