User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Why? (why) (frist OM eva)

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19

    Why? (why) (frist OM eva)

    at verse 2 most rymes are NOT at the end of the sentance like the rest of the song the rymes will be inside eatch senttance
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >Chours :
    >
    >I been traveling a long ways walk'n fo days
    >Try'n to find my slef n find a verse that stays
    >But i think what i been look'n for was alreaddy there
    >So I sit n the rain n glair look at my reflection in the puddle n
    >watch my slef stare
    >
    >
    > Verse 1:
    >Its like a bad cartoon me walk'n to no ware with a stick n a sack
    >I have been walk'n fo days with the world on my back
    >Travled out to no whare with no whare to un-pack
    >i Been atempting dope verse but the right thing never comes out
    >I have been dissed soo many times i am starting to have doubt
    >I am I try'n to hard or Am i just no cut out for this rap game
    >I put soo much time into this that if not that relli would be a
    >shame
    >Why I am try'n so hard? I ask my slef that too
    >If this dose'nt work what Am i too do
    >
    > Chours :
    >
    >I been traveling a long ways walk'n fo days
    >Try'n to find my slef n find a verse that stays
    >But i think what i been look'n for was alreaddy there
    >So I sit n the rain n glare look at my reflection in the puddle n
    >watch my slef stare
    >
    >
    >
    > Verse 2:
    >
    >Now i am sit'n in my kitchen knife to the wrist
    >If this shit is whack then why the fuck upp this
    >I dont get how u caats think were you droped on your head?
    >If i eva met you in real life i be sure to fill you with hot led
    I mean diss'n cats fo try'n.. let them do as they plz
    just leave the thread n dont type shit
    Dont evan lie n say there dope cuzz thats just a tease
    But that don't mean you NOOBS can talk shit or you will get what u deserve
    If you have tha nerve to say you dope when you weak, sick when you whack,
    Black when you white. Sucking in noobs by says our iight when you tight
    Now don't go talk'n shit about this verse when its only the begining


    > Chours :
    >
    >I been traveling a long ways walk'n fo days
    >Try'n to find my slef n find a verse that stays
    >But i think what i been look'n for was alreaddy there
    >So I sit n the rain n glare look at my reflection in the puddle n
    >watch my slef stare


    Verse 3:

    Now i am find'n my way to wharei want to be
    I am find'n path the light i can see
    BUt still i want some ansers
    Like if gods soo good then why he make cancer
    or why we allwes call girlz bitchs
    N why chicks only like you if you ridd'n a benz on 26's
    But i gusse theres some thing that your no suppose to know
    So now I am just gunna sit back and watch the show
    I don't know why i bother i dont think this verse will fix things
    Why i am i try'n to make other people happy when relli i dont give a shit
    I but girlz nice rings to make dem like me soo you can call me a hypocrit
    I dont give a fuck what you say about me
    ANd i m sure yall would'nt care if this world was without me
    But i gusse theres some thing that your no suppose to know
    So now I am just gunna sit back and watch the show
    Last edited by MC-Carnage; March 11th, 2006 at 12:02 AM Reason: typoes

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    link 1 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...55#post4100155

    I do not know if this god enuff feed soo check it out

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    link 2 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...906#post4099906

    this is better feed then the frist

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    upp'n 1

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    upp'n 2 second last 1

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    last upp

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    hmm after read'n it ova a few times ill give me slef feed lol


    Frist verse was prbz tha best 2nd was the worest flow was iight good rymeage lol

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    wow i read it n theres ALOT of typo's

    i am sorry for free post'n

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! PnC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    34
    Posts
    88
    Battle Record
    1-2
    Quote Originally Posted by MC-Carnage
    wow i read it n theres ALOT of typo's

    i am sorry for free post'n

    cosign on the typos


    this was aite.. 5/10
    spit for the reality .....

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    thanks fo tha feed ?

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    13,325
    Battle Record
    162-14
    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion
    Good but too many typos.

  12. #12
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    904
    Age
    40
    Posts
    36,635
    Battle Record
    41-13
    Awards Cypher Winner - Award Request Accepted LLL HOF OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion 1-2 Season Champion 1-2 Punch HW Champion FL Champion 100+ Wins ABL Champion
    you really need to work on a good rhyme scheme... it seems like you are trying to write like it would sound recorded... unfortunately you dont have the skill for that yet

    keep writing... start with shorter pieces and concentrate on staying on topic with a solidified rhyme scheme
    AI

  13. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    hmmmm now thats good feed I noticed that when i was make'n that too i had trouble staying on topic thanks

  14. #14
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    upp'n day 2 uppin 1

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    toronto
    Age
    30
    Posts
    677
    Battle Record
    9-19
    day 2 uppin 2

Similar Threads

  1. STD (just a verse frist eva OM)
    By lil-criten in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: March 5th, 2006, 12:09 PM
  2. frist time
    By west beat in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: August 6th, 2005, 10:03 AM
  3. New female my frist 16's
    By MizAlizé in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: December 27th, 2004, 09:23 AM
  4. my frist drop......
    By punatic_420 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: November 2nd, 2004, 02:27 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •