Blah Blah Blah

[Seedy]

I see this kid there standing there like hes stupid
he dont got shit to buy standing there cluessless
Call the cops? Naw i dont think we should do this
Wait a couple minutes for him to try to pull this
Hes not stupid, hes touching all the new shoes'
His buddy sitting down, another team of two fools
To prove to you, these two dudes about to steal
Look at their body language u can tell they bout to steal
Mouthin real, there he goes! he slided a shirt under the couch
Look at his buddy with his mummblin mouth stumblin out
Then an unoticed friend from the bathroom comes on out
And with a pistol , planning to try and bump this spot
And you can tell they're fronting now , dumping out
Taking everything and these niggas think they're sumtin now
And remmember me by when they pinned those robbers
You2can be a victim next from this WINDOW SHOPPING

[Zone]

thats was good
i was feelin the rhyme sceme alot
the flow run smooth
it was eazy to read
vocab was tight
good job homie
9/10

[Johnny 6-feet]

You need 2 links to 2 open mics you've left decent feedback on or this will be closed. If you up this again without links it will be closed.

[Mic D]

blah.....blah.....blah........blah............ U had a concept.... but u were far from pulling it off..... the base of this shit is rhymes... and u suck at it.... first .... learn to rhyme better..... then learn some actually techniques that will up the skill...... blah from beginning to end....... one last thing.......... Do not rhyme one word over and over again.... it makes u as the writer look like a moron


Edit: to address the morons reply below me

Idiot.... I said the base of this shit is rhyming.....and U ARE NOT RHYMING IN PART OF THIS>>...... I cannot tell u how to rhyme better... thats something u have to just practice at... MORON..... and after u learn that..... PM and Ill give u tips on other aspects of this shit besides just rhyming..... or read the tutorial in my sig....

last ..... Dont act hard saying .... what u expect it to be..... If you knew it was garbage.... u wouldnt have posted it here... dont try to bullshit

[Seedy]

............What can you expect, i wrote this shit quick as hell for this track...And you suck as a critique , you didnt give no info on how to fucking make the base of rhymes better, you so far is a dumbass/moron and i'd appreciate it if you never respond to any post from me

thank you

[Johnny 6-feet]

Closed. I warned you.