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Thread: First Times Retraced

  1. #1
    mz.blaze
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    First Times Retraced

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219929
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221619



    First time i dropped fists was when I hit sixteen
    This bitch was poppin shit so i chose to make a scene
    heart beat rose-as confrontation -mutates to blows-
    shoulda seen tha devastation-gave new shape unto her nose
    low n behold-her sister's clique showed to reciprocate
    all debates slowed-six older chics gets busy on my face
    i'm hittin back-feel like eternity-till they turn n leave
    abrasions that burn n bleed-floor adorned wit permed weave
    my mom seen the looks of me n screamed "i'm callin tha police"
    horrified, i begged n plead"ma you cant do that-stop please"
    my squad out for vengeance-belated-in aid of my defense
    caught them brauds on tha west end-contention did commence
    they was stressin as they seen we wasnt messin-arrested victory
    my story attested unstretched- the rest is ancient history

    first fight last laugh-reminiss- it comes to pass/
    trace back tha first time you beat some clowns ass/
    victory is sweet-resign tha crown of grave defeat/
    first times are kept in files we refuse to delete/

    My first time was far from magical, homeboy crossed tha line
    his age surpassed mine by 7 years- all a scheme in his design
    no pressure was applied till we reached a peak of three weeks
    shoulda seen he was a freak from day one just by his speech
    dominated by lust-deceitfully claimed he was in love
    i seized tha bait-young dame adulated by his touch
    as his stimulation increased-his compassion was depleted
    this cat's a simulated act-vastly passed n excreted
    things moved fast- i retreated-words cast on deaf ears
    i lay back defeated-retract tears as innocence disappears
    convinced me i needed this-to attain sophistication
    drained n vaguely cheated-shit was far from sane relations

  2. #2
    :.There will be Blood.:
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    nice drop.... good flow and structure...............
    :.Apollo .:

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I liked dat man! got nice lines in there and mulits were gr8! flowed really well ... ya makin me wanna read more from ya lol.... heaps gud, keep it up *thumbs up*

  4. #4
    mz.blaze
    Guest
    thanks i appreciate it.

  5. #5
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    Houston, Texas
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    5,316
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    very simple....good emotion...could use elevation on all the other apects..damn you were old the first time you fought..were you brought u in a non violent house hold..like tha brady bunch suburbs or something???just curious...elevate your wordplay and vocab..a little more complexity and osme multis would make this piece better


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  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    That some hot shit
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

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