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Thread: Heaven

  1. #1
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    Heaven

    Yea this another piece right here

    (Young Love)
    Lord send a savior and deliver me from my sins
    Ever since a young trick, i used to slang with the guns kids
    Born in2 the game,watched as mi homies came insane
    To survive through the sufferin u learn to be mentally trained
    Gain fame,Retain a name
    Stay strong through the game, Survive through the drama and hold your ground through the pain
    Mothers on welfare,Young kids' heart tear
    Diein from sickness young suckas dependin on fitness but life aint meant to be fair
    Niggaz retaliate but return wit a 187
    Every night at mi bedside i pray to god "Im done.Father,Please take me heaven."

    Dont fall live on my brother
    Respect the game and love thy mother
    Live the struggle and keep the love in your heart
    Love god and love the gift and heaven will never fade far

    (Young Love)
    The struggles the start but keep in mind heavens the end
    The love never fade away wen you lend your heart to your friend
    Fight for the gifts that youll recieve in life
    Fight the darkness with light and Survive the strife
    Fight to live and live to fight,When darkness falls alwayz keep the love at night
    From the cradle to the grave,Your own path you pave,
    If your committed to crime your heart change, When you reminisce on all the tears you gave,
    Keep the love in your heart never get seducted by the darkness
    You can never live with the guilt when your family's broken-hearted
    Niggas take advantage of the power when you king them
    Thats what causes heart breaks.Lord im done please deliver me to your kingdom

    (x2)
    Dont fall live on my brother
    Respect the game and love thy mother
    Live the struggle and keep the love in your heart
    Love god and love the gift and heaven will never fade far
    Open Mics


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  2. #2
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    uppn lookin for feedback and comments
    Open Mics


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  3. #3
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    need feedback and tips on improvement or comments uppn
    Open Mics


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  4. #4
    Banned Visual-X's Avatar
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    Man that shit wuz nce i like your Multi and vocab
    i felt wut u were saying
    Dont fall live on my brother
    Respect the game and love thy mother
    Live the struggle and keep the love in your heart
    Love god and love the gift and heaven will never fade far
    could of been better but everything wuz alright great job man
    visit my piece let me know wut u think

  5. #5
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    aight thx for the feed visual..uppn
    Open Mics


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  6. #6
    Alize59
    Guest

    Thumbs up

    Yo good work on this piece 2. I always like readin your work cause u talk about shit thats real and that always catches my attention. Is your favorite rapper Tupac cause your style is kind of like his to me? Nice multi's and good vocab. Nice flow also. Keep em comin.

  7. #7
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    alright thx alize yea i inherited part of his style lol.ill keep workin on these and thx for the feedback..uppn
    Open Mics


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  8. #8
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    your multis seemed forced...your iamgery was aiight...not a bad piece..needs elevation...your doing better though...keep elevatin and droppin.~1~


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  9. #9
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    Thx syndicate...uppn for feedback
    Open Mics


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  10. #10
    Newbie YoungLove's Avatar
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    uppn fr comments and feedbak
    Open Mics


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