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Thread: Guilty as charged

  1. #1
    MXC
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    Guilty as charged

    It was the summer of 2001.
    All of a sudden my reality shattered in to crumbs.
    My dreams dangled as they swung.
    Back and forth I mangled my mind until it was numb.
    Couldn't believe this shit was happening to me.
    I could only see this shit happening on T. V.
    but there I was being ask that question.(you rob someone)
    Last thing I heard was you gotta go see a detective.
    Sweating as my grandma was receiving direction.
    She felt she could correct it she's just overly protective.
    This was my first time dealing with the justice of law.
    I was taught you keep you nose clean don't press it you'll get far.
    I worked hard I was trying too pimp out a car.
    Wasn't doing shit to get caught that's why all this was bazaar.
    In the station it felt like a script on Perry mason.
    He was reading me my right and saying strip your shoe lace's.




    Took my belt escorted me to a cell with a blanket.
    I'm saying I didn't rob this kid they file's my name under new cases.
    I looked at my grandma like what the hell as I interred a cell.
    Yelling don't tell me I gotta spending the night in jail.
    She said when you wake up and before you smell.
    I'll be here telling the bailiff wake up my baby just made bail.
    She kept her promise she was there when I a woke.
    Not knowing if I was honest she still provided the smokes.
    With a fresh pack of Newport's I put my stress to rest.
    It wasn't until I was due in court that I notice pain in my chest.
    Dumb to the system but one of my kind folk's knew this lawyer
    Them dealt with him befo plus him had his on show like Tom Sawyer
    He sat with me and listened to everything I had to say.
    Although he felt that I was innocent still it only about the pay.
    I'm was more willing to give up everything I had saved.
    I'll give it all up to prevent from being lock up in a cage.




    I would say in my own head god knew the truth regardless.
    50 said only god can judge him but god's not handing down these charges.
    I was looking at 8 to 25 with no prior record to they surprise.
    but to the court's I was still a young black male guilty until otherwise.
    My lawyer said I a sure ya this is in the bag.
    Twisting the key's to his jag only to mention how he needed his cash.
    Grandma went to the stash and pull out what look like every cent she had.
    Oh that included all mine too so you know I was mad.
    But I was kinda glad cause I can finally get this shit over.
    Get back to the pad back to stacking chips for this 86 nova.
    It was no guaranties that when its all over I'll be free.
    I was told by my lawyer to go with the judge and not the jury.
    Doing this would decrease my chances of doing a bit.
    If I was to be released that day its cause god granted my wish.
    But there I was sitting in front of the judge fighting but still free.
    What happened next had me like what when the verdict came back guilty.







    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185702
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185707
    Last edited by MXC; April 13th, 2005 at 10:39 PM Reason: adding links

  2. #2
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    nice work man love the concept and imagery. delevired this real nice but I kinda feel that the flow dragged off a bit for me, maybe that's just the way I was reading it but it was a little hard to follow up with it in a few parts. but other then that very good use of vocab kept me into the piece. not really much else to say bout this u pieced your lines together nicely and your sturcture was good juss needs a lil bit of work with the flow to me but that's it. good job with this one man. keep up. peace.
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  3. #3
    Taeisbeast.'s Avatar
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    Not bad dawg..nice flow and shit ill rhymin....i enjoyed reading this...hope to see more

  4. #4
    Banned
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    nice flow dawg, keep that shit up stay up son 1

    rock to the money sign

  5. #5
    MXC
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    thank's bro's, uppin mic

  6. #6
    MXC
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    more feedback

  7. #7
    MXC
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    leave your feedback

  8. #8
    MXC
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    feedback please

  9. #9
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    This is a much appreciated improvement since the last thread I posted in of yours. Now we can talk business, I like the way you went with an actual structured verse. Not only does it help the read, it is easier to inccoperate into a real track. I think you could have used better despcription, which would have added to the iomagery of this. Another thing, yo need to work on word chioce, you knwo so that the emotion is better felt during the read. Complexsity is also something to strive for, you did well in comparision to the last drop. I think we can look forward to your elevation here on RB. We welcome all serious writters and we will do everything we can to help you grow as far as your talents are concerend. I look forward to you using more of the components mentioned here and as adviced by laurate on you next drop.

    Thanks for understanding where I was coming from in your last thread. Good job on this by the way...

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  10. #10
    MXC
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    Its much appreciated
    thank you 2 one

  11. #11
    MXC
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    feed back

  12. #12
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    This had a very poetic feeling man, i guess its your flow...The imaginary was real nice but i think you would have came alot better if you could have improved your flow which would have made this piece very dope but i still envy you for putting effort in making an actual good piece...Stay up son

  13. #13
    MXC
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    good lookin bro
    thank for the feed back

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! reincarnation's Avatar
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    dis shit wuz nice jo...............it made a nigga wish da story aint end.......keep comin up wit shit like dis jo and it wouldnt hurt 2 make a sequel.shiiiiiiiiiiit nice shit jo keep it up

  15. #15
    MXC
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    thanks bro and i'll be lookin out for all your post peaces
    to give feed back

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