Take me as I am

[A.T.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=99990
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=100043
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=100048



<hook>
This is me, and this is what I'm really like in real life,
Aint no playin games, I hate complications in my life,
I aint insane, but the worlds causin me problems.....
So take me as I am, the problem, not the solovent,


aiyo,
I'ma private type, cynical n' bashful at public gatherings,
Independant since birth, but In search of greater things,
I don't want money, just to have a family to call my own,
Cuz Im all alone in my own zone and steadily growin old,
Who knows if the winds blows where I'll be carried off to,
I don't want complicated thoughts like, what if I lost you,
I plan to gain the respect of every person on this planet,
Where none would laugh if I face planted on the ceramic,
My baby continues to grow and my plans to watch em live,
Use my hand to wipe this grin, I'll be damned, its back again,
Aint no way I'd ever change who I am just to gain a lover,
I respect you not only as a woman, but as my babies mother,
I'm a calm, respectful, and also annoying to a certain extent,
So take me as I am girl, or regret the fact that you ever lived...

<hook>
This is me, and this is what I'm really like in real life,
Aint no playin games, I hate complications in my life,
I aint insane, but the worlds causin me this problem,
So take me as I am, as a problem, not the solovent,


Another planned start and yet another uneventful finish,
I take shit all day, until I take out revenge when I spit it,
I say stupid shit, that would make you laugh til you cried,
Sometimes I'm publicly indecent, but that's my real side,
I just wanna be happy, just another person well livin in peace,
or Im R.I.P or restin in peace, better yet not livin, finished n' deceased,
Eventually with time, my spine will fold and my mind'll grow old,
Possesin neither money from records, or sellin a mine full of gold,
I dont care bout my future, so I thought I'd foreshadow my past,
Thought about why the hell I left, and then fell smack on my ass,
Like I stated before, I dunno why I should change myself,
If I aint shit on myself I aint gotta change, till Im annoyin myself,
So what If I smoke weed and have a few beers on the weekend,
I aint changin myself, just respect the nice person that Im being,
Damn I cant see it, all this damn shit is just never gonna last,
I dunno, should pass out n crash or end this shit wit one blast ...



<hook>
This is me, and this is what I'm really like in real life,
Aint no playin games, I hate complications in my life,
I aint insane, but the worlds causin me problems.....
So take me as I am, the problem, not the solovent,

[Handcuffs]

this was pretty cool,
i couldn't really tell what the topic was,
but it was dope anyway, haha,
nothin wrong with this.
7.5/10

[lyrical_killer]

yo homie I was sorta feeling this

[A.T.]

thanks for da feed...
lyrikal... take that shit outta ya sig... bout you can be a
nice guy....
cause you gon' get ranked on hard in battles cuz....
just lookin out for ya

[Endeva.]

i quite liked this a lil fussy...some ok vocab, but more extensive shit would help it.....n it flowed....not sure on the hook though....some nice multis wouldnt go amiss.....but as it it..nuthin wrong with it....jus be more concise on the topic i think....but yeah not bad...pZ

[Mistral]

Yeah this was pretty good i thought.....Enjoyed the read....your structure was good through out this i thought....your vocab was pretty good....you had some good multies....Your flow was pretty good as well, it stayed on through out the whole piece i thought...but overall this was a pretty good piece....keep at it.

[A.T.]

thanks for the feed yall

[Richard Parker]

nice piece a.t. . your turnin into quite the open mic head. good job. . i give this a. . 8.5/10. nice emotion n overall i liked this piece a lot.

[MD_killa]

ayo this peice was tight... i was feelin the frist and last part the most... alot of feelin an ish... ish was coo...

i was feelin it fa sho dunny... keep ya game up...

Caesar on3

[CrackaBox187]

I really liked this shit A.T., deep, and i see were your commin from, i understand the topic, i enjoy readin your pieces, hold em down yo, and do what cha do best

[A.T.]

thanks yall... uppin

[shrty4chrst]

I like that. Rhyming was nice, rhythm good, i'd like to hear it by audio. Nice work wit vocab and all man

Aight
1 Love

[debaser]

The upshot of this is you came true. I could feel what you were saying and that it meant something to you. The downshot is, even though you were being very specific and literal, I wasn't quite sure where the flow was taking me. I got the overall point, but it was difficult to get a sense of the mood you were trying to convey.

I'd say work on your structure a bit but continue to keep it real. Good work!

[Vis]

flow n multis were coo
vocab was ight, I wasnt feelin the hook at all...
nice job any way tho

[A.T.]

uppin